I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Operation Purity has been aborted
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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