I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
