do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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