Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
