Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
