You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
