Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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