Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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