You can't special order awesome
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
