How'd it feel making her break her religion?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
