i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm at about main and main street
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
