sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's blow job season.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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