we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
