So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
