Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
