If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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