she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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