Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
