When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
