Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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