So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
