i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
