I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
