So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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