You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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