Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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