How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Houston, we have a squirter
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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