At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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