im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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