Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
