I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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