Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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