and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
