You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
