I'm going to jail i love you
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
