Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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