I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
