Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
