I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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