if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
