He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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