just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize