JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
