you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
