He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
