Texts From Last Night · baller168's Favorites

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baller168's Favorites Texts:

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(+62): View more from

This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

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(+43): View more from

my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe

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(330): View more from Ohio

Every perfect package comes with a warning label.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.

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(519): View more from Ontario

we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.

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(352): View more from Florida

i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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