Texts From Last Night · bluedevylgyrl's Favorites

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bluedevylgyrl's Favorites Texts:

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix

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(831): View more from California

So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...

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(540): View more from Virginia

Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

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(650): View more from California

so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.

(1-650): View more from California

did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?

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(706): View more from Georgia

I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

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(915): View more from Texas

when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up

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(305): View more from Florida

you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out

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