Texts From Last Night · faythee's Favorites

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faythee's Favorites Texts:

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(770): View more from Georgia

When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.

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(805): View more from California

how many dildos make it a "collection?"

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand

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(416): View more from Toronto

We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.

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(512): View more from Texas

With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(310): View more from California

I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.

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