It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just google imaged poop.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
