Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
